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Love as a Spiritual Practice:
A Healing Service of Letting Go and Taking Up

Comments By The Rev. Susan Manker-Seale
February 16, 2003

The thirteenth-century Persian poet Rumi wrote that:  

Love is the way messengers
From the mystery tell us things.

                        (--The Love Poems of Rumi, Chopra)

That’s an image to ponder, for yourself:  “Love is the way messengers from the mystery tell us things.”  In this definition of love, as Rumi has used it, love is a feeling, a feeling with a message, but a feeling nonetheless.  Though the feeling is within us, its catalyst appears to be something from without, from the “mystery.”  

Rumi also describes love as an action, as an event of transformation by something akin to God, or as God itself, in this poem called “The Alchemy of Love:” 

You come to us
From another world

From beyond the stars
and void of space.
Transcendent, Pure,
Of unimaginable beauty,
Bringing with you
the essence of love

You transform all
who are touched by you.
Mundane concerns,
troubles, and sorrows
dissolve in your presence,
Bringing joy
to ruler and ruled
To peasant and king

You bewilder us
with your grace.
All evils
transform into
goodness.

You are the master alchemist.

You light the fire of love
in earth and sky
in heart and soul
of every being.

Through your loving,
existence and nonexistence merge.
All opposites unite.
All that is profane
becomes sacred again.

                        (--The Love Poems of Rumi, Chopra)

As I interpret this poem, the divine “You” (or god or spirit of life and love) transforms us through love.  Alchemy is transformation, and the god/spirit changes all that is sad or evil into good through love.  “Through your loving,” Rumi writes, “…all opposites unite.  All that is profane becomes sacred again.”  Love is more than a feeling; it is the transformative power of the universe.  

This equation of love with God or the divine energy is ancient.  We read in the Christian gospel of John that “If we love one another, God lives in us.” (I John 4)  Jesus, when asked which of the commandments was the greatest, replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind….And…You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)  I interpret “the Lord your God” to mean what you worship, what you believe is the divine energy or the greatest good of the universe.  “Your neighbor” is not just the person living next to you, but all who live with you on the planet, including the plants and the animals and all life that is interdependent in this, our larger neighborhood of the earth. 

You can distil Christianity, then, into three words:  “You shall love.” 

This isn’t the romantic definition of love that we celebrate on Valentine’s Day.  This is the compassionate, caring definition of love, the first definition in the dictionary.  It’s the theological definition.  It is not something that happens to you, either, like in Rumi’s poems.  Rather, it is something that you choose to do.  To love with the transformative power of the universe is a spiritual practice.

Many people today are searching for a spiritual practice that meets their needs.  They turn to yoga, meditation, praying, writing and hiking as some of the paths toward a deeper understanding and sense of connection.  As the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh writes, paying attention as we go through the day is also a spiritual practice.  I would like to add to all of those another spiritual practice, and that is to love.  It is a practice that takes practice.  It takes a commitment of time and attention just as the others do, and a daily exercise.

We all know that romantic love isn’t what holds a marriage together.  That’s why we say “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health” as a reminder that life is difficult and that relationships demand a commitment that is strong and everlasting.  Transformative love, the love that demands our compassion and caring even as it creates change in ourselves and those around us, is the love that holds couples together, families together, communities together, and societies together.  It will hold nations together if we let it.  It will hold the world together. 

I’m reminded of I Corinthians 13, which couples love to have read in their wedding ceremonies:  

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.  Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends. (4-8)

It is necessary to remind ourselves what love truly is.  Beyond the easy “God is love” proclamations of the sixties, we need to ponder in each of our hearts what it means to love.  Love as a spiritual practice is an act of transformation, of ourselves, of others, of the world.  Anyone and everyone should practice it.  Mother Theresa knew about this kind of love when she said:

Love cannot remain by itself--it has no meaning.
Love has to be put into action and that action is service.
Whatever form we are, able or disabled, rich or poor,
It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing;
A lifelong sharing of love with others.

Love never ends.  It is the infinite, eternal, transformative power of the universe.  It is a spiritual practice of action, of service.  Love as a spiritual practice requires a commitment to living a life divine:  a life that reaches out to the fallen with a helping hand, that welcomes the stranger, that feeds the needy, that says no to war and poverty and the devastations of the earth’s creatures and creations, a life that recognizes all people as one race--the human race--brothers and sisters, responsible to each other and to all the creatures of the earth.  If we love as a spiritual practice, our daily lives will incorporate the divine and, as Rumi said, all evils will transform into goodness.

The Healing Service of Letting Go and Taking Up

Invitation

In order to love as a spiritual practice, we need to let go of those things in our lives that are not love:  jealousy, resentment, hate, or hurt are a few of the feelings that get in the way of transformative love.  What feelings of non-love are you holding onto?  Whom do you need to forgive?  What do you need to let go of?

As we let go of things that are not love, we need to take up something that is love.  In what ways can we choose to act with love, to practice love with ourselves, our partners and friends, our families, communities, societies, nations and world?  What do you want to take up in love?

We’ll ponder these things during the silent meditation that follows, and then I’ll tell you what to do with those two pieces of paper you’ve been holding all this time.  For now, take a moment to meditate on what you need to let go of, what is not love in your life, and what you wish to take up, which is an aspect of love as a spiritual practice.

Silent Meditation

Ritual

First, write on the floppy square of paper the thing you want to let go of, which is not love.  Outside, you can burn it in the charcoal grill after the service, or take it home to burn, or rip it to pieces, or shred it in your office shredder--whatever helps you to symbolically let go of it.

Second, write on the stiffer square of paper the thing you want to take up.  This is a reminder to you from yourself about what aspect of love as a spiritual practice you want to bring into your life.  You can punch a hole in it and string it and hang it on your desk lamp, or attach it to your refrigerator with a magnet, or tape it to your bathroom mirror, or put it in your wallet--whatever will help you to remember to practice the love for which you yearn, love which is transformative and infinite.

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Northwest Tucson